Tag Archives: menn

Sang/dikt; Notes from a pedofile

Her er et sang jeg skrev i vinter..

Det er kanskje litt vel ærlig i begynnelsen, men det ender bedre enn det starter!

Notes from a pedofile

 

Little girl, I see that you’re vulnerable
So to me, that makes you touchable
Since you look up to me, trust me-it must be true!
There can’t be me there’s something wrong with, it must be you!

Little girl, where I touch you can never be told
But I’ll carry on until you heart turns cold
Little girl, know that you are to blame
And you need to carry all of this shame 

Because of the fear she is hiding
Because of the secret she is lying
Because of the pain she is crying
Because she wants to die she’s stopped fighting
Because of the guilt she keeps on dying
Until the very end 

Young girl, do you think they can’t see you arm?
Do you think they don’t get that you self harm?
The pain to deep for tears to contain
The pain to strong for words to explain
You need physical hurt to deal with your pain

Are you sure you haven’t gone insane?
You keep gaining weight – it’s as simple as that
Hoping I won’t want you if you turn fat
But I will never let you be
Won’t let you get away from me

Because of the fear she is hiding
Because of the secret she is lying
Because of the pain she is crying
Because she wants to die she’s stopped fighting
Because of the guilt she keeps on dying
Until the very end 

 

Young woman, even though I’m thru
Don’t ever think that I have left you
Even though I don’t abuse you anymore
You still lie vomiting on the bathroom floor
I told you – let me remind you how weak you are
What I have done is still a wound, not a scar
Your heart is in a shallow grave
It is too late for it to save 

Because of the fear she is hiding
Because of the secret she is lying
Because of the pain she is crying
Because she wants to die she’s stopped fighting
Because of the guilt she keeps on dying
Until the very end 

 

Young adult, do you still see me in the shades?
Do you still try to chase my memory with razorblades?
Young adult, do you still shake with fear?
Thinking that everywhere you turn, I’m there?
Young adult, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize
That you still believe in all of my lies
These lies I told you so long ago
Don’t believe that it still is so
Young adult, stand up, look around you and see
That there is no reason to still be afraid of me

She is so done hiding
She can’t keep on lying
She doesn’t keep on crying
She is ready for fighting
She is ready to be living
Until the very end 

This woman wants to dream again
She wants to dare to go where she has never been
The shadows now seem out of sight
They can’t face her in the light
His actions can never be undone
But she can change what will come!

Reklamer

Utskrivningssamtalen, del 1

Hun skulle skrives ut, skulle ut og møte en venninne rett etterpå, hadde lyst til å føle seg fin. Hun fant frem et plagg med utrigning, men tenkte ikke at det gjorde noe, hun følte seg fin i det.

Men i bakgrunnen var det to personligheter i hodet som kommenterte. Fragile tenkte meste på da hun skulle ut etter utskrivningssamtalen, men disse to ville bruke anledningen til å finne ut mer om mannelig psykolog A som skulle ha utskrivningssamtalen.

Marianne tar en titt på utringingen og sier;;
«Dette ser bra ut. Du har jo lyst til å på en eller annen måte takke for det du har fått ut av oppholdet. Dette er virkelig det eneste du har å stille opp med, puppene er det eneste menn noen sinne har villet ha på den stygge kroppen din.»

Marte har en litt annen agenda;
”La oss teste han! Er det det han vil ha, er det det mannfolket er ute etter?”

Fragile prøvde å ignorere de. Så seg i speilet en siste gang før hun gikk ut, likte følelsen av å føle seg litt fin.

Så kom samtalen.

Det skjedde med en gang.

Han så et blikk på henne og gav en lav latter.
”Det var da en voldsom måte å kommunisere på! Dekk deg litt til, det distraherer”

Fragile bøyer hode, mens personlighetene raser.

Marianne er rask til å kommentere,
”Det var det jeg visste. Du har nå gitt det eneste du hadde å gi, og det ble avvist. Du kommer aldri til å bli god nok”

Marte kom like etter;
”Jeg visste han var ute etter å skade deg, hørte du ikke hvor mye han dret deg ut nå?”

De andre personligheten var også aktive, mange meninger om hva som hadde skjedd.

Mens bak det hele høres fragiles sårede stemme;
”Jeg trodde jeg var fin, jeg”