Dikt; Never Love Again

So here i stand
With tears in my eyes
And my heart in my hand

This heart has been used
Broken and bruised
And unfortunately abused

My tears roll down and salt hurt my cut
The self inflicted wounds
The pain slowly reaches my gut

Nobody hurt me as much as you
But no one else loved me, right?
I needed to be loved, so it had to be true

A part of me needed you, I needed to stay close
Stay close to the pieces of my broken heart
The heart that you so violently broke

Is it true that love can be good?
Can it heal and not break?
It feels like somehow it should

Yeah, you said the abuse
Was adults way to say they cared
But all you did was use

And I believed you, at only 3 years old
I thought abuse was love
It was what I had been told

Daddy, how can you rape your own baby?
How could you hurt me so bad
It has forever haunted me, and it always will be

I know darkness all to well
And since I was so little
Has had secrets I can never tell

Can people ever be good, I cried
Because I was so scared
That even God could contain lies

I don’t know what’s harder for me
To love or be loved
My heart is at an off-key

You see, I am the girl with all of the laughs
Who still attracts
Monsters and sociopaths

Because I am the girl who needs to be punished, I have been told
By rape, voilent treats of death and hurtfull words,
While all I really want is to be hold

Me, who never seems to quite get it right
That feels like a failure day and night
And that seems to always have to fight

Here, where misery knows no end
So I’m doing everything I can
To make sure I never trust, or love again

I know Jesus says he loves me,
But I do have one plea
Jesus, just please remember
He also said he loved me