Tag Archives: sang

DIKT: The many faces of my eating disorder


If you are already skinny and get an eating disorder, you go to the hospital straight away
But I am still fat and need the diet, they say

Now, I just don’t eat for weeks at a time
But does anyone tell me I have crossed a line?

No, because I was fat when I stared, I’m a success story
Tell me that when I get dizzy and my sight gets blurry

If you are not recovering, you are dying
But the decease keep me lying

“No, I’m not hungry, thanks anyways”
While me body screams; I haven’t eaten in days

My mind and stomach are fighting for the other one to give in
My stomach screams for food, my mind wants me to be thin

It’s only when I’m hungry I feel beautiful
I feel so ugly if my stomach is full

It’s not just a choice to eat, don’t tell me that!
When even one piece of cucumber makes me feel fat

Anorexia gives me purpose, don’t you understand?
She smiles her toothless smile and takes my hand

She is losing her hair, and bones sticking out
She is perfect I want to shout

So I worship the girl with skinny jeans
With nothing but skin and bone it seems

The girl with thigh gaps and collarbone
With hipbones sticking out and a mind made by stone

My worth is measured solely according to the scale
I am heavy, but why do I feel so frail?

Dear eating disorder I hate you
But please, don’t leave me, not you too

And still, dear eating disorder, I love you!
You are the only one who gets me through

Because dear eating disorder, they don´t understand
Please eating disorder, please hold my hand

Dear eating disorder, I love you, let’s make a deal
Because nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

So I keep pressing my fingers down my throat
Trying to ignore the warning the doctors spoke

I say I am sick, the say no, you’re an inspiration
My eating disorder is the new creation

I swear, it’s not by choice
But anorexia has a voice


Behind the smile

Her er et dikt/sang jeg skrev da jeg var 14-15..

Det heter Behind the Smile


Behind the smile is a hurt lonely girl

Hiding her feelings from the rest of the world

Behind the mask is her world messed up

Behind the smile is the pain that won’t stop


She cries inside, but noboddy knows

She cuts her self, but not so it shows


Who knows her, who sees her

Behind her wall

Who cares that she feels

So worthless and small


Behind the smile is a girl stumbeling in the darkness

With no hand to hold, stuck in her own emptyness

Behind the smile is a fragile soul

Waiting for something to make her whole


She hates herself, but nobody knows

She’s so scared from her past, but not so it shows



Who knows her, who sees her

Who feels her pain

Who sees all the tears

She has cried in vain


She desperatly tries to cover her pain

Let noboddy see all of her shame

She smiles and she laughs

To convinse she’s okay

But she alone knows the pain

behind the play

Everyday she feels it,

not a day goes by

without that aweful feeling

of dying inside


Behind the smile are the scars she’s had to pay

It seems as they will never go away

Behind the smile is a heart that is torn

Behind the mask is a girl that sometimes

Wishes she was never born


Who knows her, who sees her

Crying at night

Praying that one day,

it will be alright


Behind the mask are the feelings

that never shows

Behind the smile is a girl

Noboddy really knows